Snippet Sunday, 7/5/15–“Mr. Tall, Tan…& Tasteless”–Makin’ whoopee (or not)

Here’s Snippet #2:

This week, I’ve been working on an update of “Mr. Tall, Tan…& Tasteless.” A lot of readers didn’t connect with the characters or the story in the first version. Not only am I correcting mistakes, I’m trying to get the readers to love Scotty and Lorrie as much as I do. So I’d really appreciate feedback on this. It’s the first 8 sentences of the prologue I’m adding. I’m pretty happy with the way this turned out, but I was happy with the first version of the book for a long time—LOL.
Prologue Cincinnati, Ohio New Year’s Eve 2012
The last day of the year was definitely the coldest, but Lorrie Galloway wasn’t dressed for warmth. Hugh, her fiancé, had told her he was planning to work at home on New Year’s Eve. Well, she had a surprise for him. Underneath her favorite navy blue and forest green tartan plaid swing coat, she wasn’t wearing much. She had on a black bustier and matching stockings she’d ordered from her favorite lingerie catalogue, Leg-intimate. Instead of practical boots, she wore ivory lace and leather heels with bows on them. Strains of Rod Stewart crooning What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? echoed across the lobby of Hugh’s elegant downtown condo on Central Parkway across from the court house.
Lorrie smiled to herself at the thought of watching the New Year’s Eve celebration on Times Square snuggled next to Hugh in his king-sized bed. She couldn’t wait ’til she was married and she could make The Elsaesser-Forde Building her home, too. As she headed toward the elevator, however, the face of her brother’s best friend, Scotty, came to mind. He was tall with sandy hair and blue eyes that sparkled whenever he teased her. Lorrie had always liked him, but he was like her second brother.

Snippet Sunday, 7/5/15. #1 Taming Toby–Jamie’s kitty

Here’s snippet #1 for all you Toby and Jamie fans—we’re back in Jamie’s POV—she’s going to see Toby again and pick up her new kitten. I found a big mistake in last week’s snippet—Zoe’s age, so I’ll have to change it. Re-writes, re-writes…
I might have gone over here, but otherwise, it ended in a weird spot. Thanks in advance for your feedback!
Jamie returned to the floating vet clinic the next evening. After work she’d stopped at Blatt’s Food Emporium and gotten supplies she needed for a kitten. All the cat supplies were in the back of her car. She walked to Toby’s clinic where he was waiting on deck.
“He’s all ready for you,” Toby said. Jamie looked into his emerald eyes. She inhaled the scent of clean laundry and soap as she stepped closer to retrieve the feline. “Have you picked out a name yet?”
Jamie sighed and took the kitten from him, not missing the warmth when their hands touched. “No. I’m stuck. My great-grandma Ellie had a cat named Major Gregory and I thought about naming him that, but I also like Captain Ramage…”
“Another sea novel character?” Jamie nodded. Toby looked at the cat, and then at Jamie. “Maybe I can help. You can’t just call him ‘hey, you,’ right?”
“No.” She couldn’t help looking at Toby. She loved his auburn hair and the taut muscles that stretched across his tall frame. He wore a T-shirt that said “Immediate Pleasures,” jeans and brown work boots.

Snippet Sunday, 6/28, “Taming Toby”–he gets allergic smelling hay

This has been another crazy week. My mom is back from the hospital, but when I went to visit her, she was awfully quiet. I’m hoping it’s just the meds she’s been on because that isn’t like her. Once again, I thank everyone for their support. I’m continuing on from last week when Toby stopped to visit his dad and sister at the double wide.
The kitty has a new name, Smokey Joe. Any comments on the snippet would be appreciated. I’m also working on updates for “Mr. Short, Dark…& Funny” and “Mr. Tall, Tan…& Tasteless.” So watch for them—they will be “new and improved.” (I hope)
Zoe wrinkled her nose. “Jamie Morgan? Have you forgotten what happened when I went to a hayride with her brother?”
Toby hadn’t remembered that his sister had gone out with Jonah for a hayride sponsored by Beth Jacob Synagogue’s Youth Group. It was easy to lose his memory since he hadn’t set foot inside a synagogue for at least ten years.
When he didn’t say anything, Zoe spoke. “Jonah sneezed almost the whole night. He was allergic to hay.”
“Well, I’m not planning on taking Jamie on any hayrides.” Or anywhere else when she finds out I’m from the “wrong side of the tracks.”

Snippet Sunday, 6/20/15, “Taming Toby,” Happy Father’s Day

This has been a crazy week. My mom went into the hospital on Wednesday, but is back at the nursing home as of yesterday. Like I said, it was crazy and scary and all kinds of moments in between. I thank everyone for their support. Since today is Father’s Day, I’ve skipped ahead in Toby and Jamie’s story to the scene where we meet Toby’s dad, Arnie Michaelson, for the first time. This is really raw because I really just finished this scene, which I dedicate this to my dad, Charles Goldberg, who passed away March 30, 2014. Happy Father’s Day, Dad!
I’m not sure about the cat’s name. His name was Pouncer in the original version, but I’m just not feeling it. Any comments on the snippet and cat name suggestions would be appreciated.
Between watching Pouncer, looking for more abandoned animals and trying not to think about the off-limits Jamie Morgan, Toby stopped by his dad’s double wide manufactured home. His dad, Arnie, lounged comfortably on an over-stuffed faux leather sofa watching TV. His sister, red-headed Zoe, offered Arnie some homemade fudge.
Toby swiped a piece of Zoe’s fudge, too, thinking of Jamie’s voice when she said she wanted to adopt the rescued kitten.
“Hey!” Zoe said, when a commercial came on. “I made that for me and dad!”
“Sorry, sis, but I love your fudge. Besides, I need it. I met someone tonight.”
Zoe green eyes scrutinized him with sixteen-year-old curiosity. “Really?”
Toby reached for another piece of chocolate fudge, smacking his lips appreciatively as he ate it in a couple of bites. “Don’t you think your decrepit old brother is capable of meeting an eligible young lady?”
Zoe and her dad reached for the last piece of chocolate goodness at the same time. She let Arnie have it. “You don’t have time for love.”
“For Jamie Morgan, I’d make time.”

Snippet Sunday, 6/14/15–“Taming Toby” and “Mr. Tall, Tan…& Tasteless”

I have two snippets today because tomorrow, June 15, would have been my 35th wedding anniversary. 35 years—wow that seems like a long time. Plus I knew my husband for seven years before that. He was the best! I’ve based several characters on him in my years of writing. The most memorable was from a book I wrote that was sold, but never published since the company I sold it to went out of business. He was Jimmy Morgan, the hero of “Eagle’s Lady.” He was a Scorpio, had dyslexia, left his small town home in Maine to work on a ship, and was Ellie Morgan’s childhood friend, which led to consequences when he returned home and found that Ellie is engaged.

The other hero who was based on Jon is Scotty Caldwell, hero of “Mr. Tall, Tan…& Tasteless” and “Tasteless Holidays.” Here’s a snippet from “Mr. Tall, Tan…& Tasteless.” Since it would have been our anniversary, I chose a snippet from Jay Galloway’s wedding…Jay’s sister, Lorrie, is upset because the bride’s maid of honor is talking about how hunkalicious Scotty is. This book is available on Amazon, but I might be updating it in the future…
Lorrie looked up and straight into the eyes of the object of Mallory’s horniness, Scotty Caldwell. Scotty was a fine-looking man, with light brown hair and merry blue eyes.
“Scotty? What are you doing here? We’re all trying to get dressed. Jay isn’t with you, is he?”
“No,” Scotty said. “There’s a problem.” He spoke in a whisper that Lorrie found sexy because he still had his New York accent, although he’d lived in Ohio for years. The man knew how to make her act like a blithering idiot. “Reverend Thomas is sick. Reese is trying to find somebody else, but she’s having trouble. I called my boss, Judge Sherman, and I’m waiting to hear back from him. He might be able to officiate.”

And for all you Toby and Jamie fans, here’s the next snippet for “Taming Toby.” By the way, Jamie is the great-granddaughter of Jimmy Morgan. I skipped ahead a little and this is told from Toby’s POV. Any feedback is very much appreciated.
She’s out of my league. Toby Michaelson tried to concentrate on the cat Jamie Morgan had found. On her parents’ boat. That alone should have sent warning bells off in his head.
It didn’t. The lovely Jamie, tall and slender, with wavy blonde hair and intuitive brown eyes sent his attraction level into big time overdrive. He kept his attention on the cat, ministering to the bite on his foot. He gave the cat antibiotic with an eye dropper. “I’ll keep giving him this. The bite’s infected, but the torn ear might be an old injury. I don’t see any blood, so he may have had this for a while.”
“Poor baby,” Jamie said, rubbing the cat’s soft fur. Toby was suddenly jealous of the very lucky kitty. He had to remind himself once again that Jamie’s last name was Morgan ipso facto, she wasn’t the woman for him.

Snippet Sunday, 6/7/15, more about Toby, “Taming Toby”

More from my re-written WIP, “Taming Toby.” I’ve tried to post this but the stupid, stupid, stupid computer isn’t cooperating. I realized this week that since this is the prequel to “Tempting Jonah,” which was pub;ished in 1999, this takes place in the same time period. I don’t want to deviate from that too much because I’m also working on a book about Toby and Jamie’s younger brother, Seth, all grown up that takes place present day.

Here’s the snippet–any feedback is much appreciated!

The man was tall, with auburn hair and soulful green eyes. He wore jeans and a T-shirt that said “The Zero Hour” on it. He looked friendly and easy to talk to—like someone she could tell about the problems on Pinewood’s Monterey unit today. She could picture herself leaning against those strong, broad shoulders and…
She glanced down at the cat. “I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be thinking about you, as well as my human patients. I just got pre-occupied.” She certainly wasn’t interested in leaning against the broad shoulders of a green-eyed handsome man. She looked straight into those eyes, speaking in the authoritative voice she used at Pinewood. “You’re Dr. Toby Michaelson? You run the Mensocket Veterinary Clinic?”
“This is only one part,” Dr. Michaelson said, standing on the deck of a small houseboat. “I have a regular clinic on Main Street near the hospital.”

Snippet Sunday 5/31, “Taming Toby”

Greetings–sorry I haven’t been around for awhile–real life always intervenes so I have to take everything one minute at a time. Including trying to post this–third time’s a charm–I hope.

I sent “Fools Fall in Love” to the publisher, so this snippet is from a new/old WIP. Any feedback would be appreciated and thanks for your support.

“There’s not a moment to lose,” Jamie Morgan said. She held a kitten who looked like he’d gotten a raw deal in a fight. He had a bite on his foot, and a piece of his ear was torn off. The cat was the color of smoke—with green eyes. Jamie had just come to rest on the Morgan family cabin cruiser. It had been a particularly trying day at Pinewood, where Jamie worked as a geriatric nurse. One of her favorite patients had Alzheimer’s, and the older woman’s children were about to make her lose her mind.
The boat offered a safe haven. She’d taken a walk on deck and that’s when she had seen the gray beauty of a cat, the floating veterinary clinic, and the guy who ran it.

Snippet Sunday 3/22–A Passover-y snippet

Apologies for late comments, I got sidetracked last week and was also exhausted when I came home from working at the day job. Hope to comment on this week’s snippets tonight or tomorrow.
Continuing on with Carson and Malia’s story…any comments are much appreciated…trying to get this done, but moving like a turtle on everything…it’s more than 8 sentences, computer wouldn’t let me cut…
She was starving, too. If she were home, she’d be starting dinner right about now. She saw the box of crackers sitting on Carson’s table. “Do you mind if I…”
“Be my guest.” Carson handed her the oddest looking cracker she’d ever seen. Crackers were supposed to be small and square or round. This was one big cracker, about the shape of an eight by ten piece of paper.
“What kind of cracker is this?”
“It’s matzo.”
“What’s matzo?”
“Unleavened bread. The Jewish people ate it when they…do you mean to tell me you haven’t seen the movie ‘The Ten Commandments?’”
Malia shook her head.
“And you don’t know the story of Passover?”
“Vaguely. I haven’t been to church in years.”
Carson regarded her with his keen blue eyes. Then he began to speak in a radio-announcer voice. “I’m no Charlton Heston, and I’m not Jewish, but…this is the bread of affliction which are forefathers ate in the land of Egypt…”
Malia had to laugh at his impersonation of Charlton Heston.

Snippet Sunday 3/14–warm me up

I finished the love scene for Malia and Carson’s story. I thought the book was almost finished but now I realize there are a few things I left out.

Continuing on from last week’s snippet of “Fools Fall in Love” (working title), Carson and Malia are stuck at work and now she’s cold…any feedback is much appreciated…

Carson inched closer to her. “Are you cold?” He looked her over from her pink cardigan to her pink and white Oxford kitten heels.
“A little. I wore this outfit, and I’m freezing.”
Carson frowned. “You wouldn’t have gotten very far in those shoes. And…” He removed his flannel shirt and gently wrapped it around her. It smelled like clean laundry and citrus soap. “Does that take the chill off?”
“Yeah,” Malia said, sending him a smile. He had no idea how much the idea of wearing his shirt took the chill off. She was starving, too. If she were home, she’d be starting dinner right about now.

Snippet Sunday, 3/8–Stranded

Continuing on with my WIP, “Fools Fall in Love.” Last week, Malia and Carson were about to leave work when the power went out. Real life gave us a pretty bad snowstorm here in Ohio last week and gave me an adventure getting to work in my friend’s truck with my bad knee. Here’s what happens next to Malia and Carson:

Carson rushed back in, a concerned look on his face when he saw that she was staring at her Smart Phone. “I couldn’t even get out of the parking lot,” he said. “It’s terrible walking and my car…”
“The power’s out all over Washington County. What should we do?”
“I guess we’d better stay here. I can take some pictures and we can run with it for this week’s edition. My camera’s in the car.”
“What if somebody sees us?”
“I think most everybody left. Besides, if I’m taking pictures, I’m actually working, and you could write up a story about the weather, so we wouldn’t be dating.” He raised his black eyebrows. “There are a lot better ways to spend the evening than stuck here with you, believe me.”
“You’re…”
“I know.” A hint of a smile crossed his face. “Don’t worry, Malia. I hate you!”
Malia gave an involuntary shudder, but not because of what he’d said. If he had added “now take off your clothes” to his “I hate you,” she might have complied. Maybe nobody would see him, but he was making it awfully hard to ignore her fantasies.
All feedback is greatly appreciated.

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