Famous Lines of 2012

I’d like to say 2012 was a great year, but the last month and a half hasn’t been and neither were some other parts of the year. However, for the last couple of years, I’ve compiled a list of the most famous lines of the year (real and from my books and short stories).

 

#5: “Y’know, punk, if you’re gonna rob my sister, this is a ridiculous way to do it.” – Jay Galloway, heroine’s brother in “Mr. Tall, Tan…& Tasteless.”

 

#4: Ah – my parents. The more I am around them the more I realize how much I love them and how they are the two nicest people I know. I am sad that health problems led them to the hospital and a skilled nursing facility. Before they got sick, they came to my house on the weekends (before I got laid off. Again.).

Mom: “I got weighed on Nancy’s scale. It’s 115.”

Dad: “No, it’s 11:15.”

 

#3: My friend and cab driver and my parents went to the drive-thru at McDonald’s for breakfast. After waiting almost twenty minutes for their order, my friend went inside to check on it and was told “We can’t find the ingredients to make your order.”

 

 

#2: Silence – sometimes the most famous line of all. That look from a family member or friend who knows what you’re going through, but doesn’t want to say the wrong thing. They just want to let you know that they’re there if you need to talk – or not say anything at all.

 

The most famous and often-quoted line of 2012 is:

 

#1: Okay, big build-up first. My novella, “When Do the Bells Ring for Me?” got a tasteless rejection because the heroine mentioned her brother’s ex-wife in her wedding toast. (There were other reasons for the rejection, but the word tasteless was used in the rejection that was riddled with typos). Okay, I’m exaggerating for dramatic effect. Now I sit here typing on my laptop and wishing my life were that simple again. So, use your imagination here and picture my short, dark and funny cab driver friend listening to me read that letter, and then leaning back in the leather seat of the cab and saying, (with a smile and a twinkle in his brown eyes) “Just send her an e-mail and say, ‘I may be tasteless, but you can’t type. And then send her a picture of your finger.’”

–Nancy Goldberg Levine is the author of “Mr. Short, Dark…& Funny” and “Mr. Tall, Tan…& Tasteless” available now on Amazon.com, as well as more than sixty short stories.

 

 

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Friends

No, I’m not talking about the sitcom. I was never a fan, but I do love the “Friends” theme. I have lots of on-line friends, whom I’ve never met, as well as high school and college friends, and co- and ex-co-worker friends. I’m closer to many of these people than I am to my aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws and out-laws.
This time I want to talk about two friends in particular, my best friend, Karla, whom I’ve known since 1973, and my cab driver, Greg, whom I’ve known since 2009. It might be 2008, I still can’t think straight.
After guest blogging on Joan Reeves’s “SlingWords” about writing during adversity, and telling what I was thankful for on her Thanksgiving “SlingWords,” real life and adversity came my way once again…in fact, my whole world came crashing down. Since the title of this blog is “Laugh with Me,” I’ll try not to make it too depressing, but there are reasons people haven’t heard from me for a while.
Last Sunday morning, I talked to my parents. They seemed fine – my mom was talking about me winning the lottery and how I should buy a ticket. I called them back several times that day and that night, but kept getting a busy signal. I’m laid off now, so Monday morning, I planned to check on them, and then do some grocery shopping. Needless to say, I never made it to the grocery. I called my cab driver and he drove me to their house. I found out something was wrong with the lock on the back door and I couldn’t get in with my key. He tried the front door and it was open. My parents were lying on the floor. My dad was in the bathroom, and my mom was in the hall. My dad was talking, but my mom was unresponsive, Greg had to pick someone else up, but he asked me to call him and he’d come back and check to see what was going on. When he did, we helped my dad onto the couch, but my mom was still in bad shape. I called 9-1-1. They were cold because they were waiting for someone to come and fix their furnace, and they were dehydrated and had gotten infections. Today my dad went to a skilled nursing facility for rehab. My mom will join them there when she’s feeling better. I’m happy to say they’re doing better after all the craziness. And I thank God Greg is my friend. Even during this serious situation, he still got me to laugh.
Then there’s Karla. I’m laid off and money’s running out fast. She has been unbelievable, getting me to the grocery and pharmacy (and paying for it!) and giving advice without being too obnoxious about it. I have several relatives who my parents and I always say “Oh, they mean well…” about. Believe me, if we say that, it isn’t a compliment. I’m not really fond of people who mean well. I like people like Karla and Greg who aren’t helping out because of what’s in it for them.
My friends, you are the best. What about you? Do you have friends who have gone above and beyond the bounds of friendship for you? What about books where friends do anything for one another?