I’m trying to finish my holiday novella, “Tasteless Holidays.” Would love some feedback on this sneak peek, and to that end, the first person to make a meaningful comment will receive a $5 Amazon Gift Card. This is a scene I pictured when I started writing the novella, but it’s not quite going the way I planned…
Christmas Eve—six months later
Lorrie took in the scent of pine from the Christmas trees in the hallway of the church near the house she shared with Scotty. She held little Betsy in her arms, running her hands over her daughter’s thick brown hair and treasured every moment with her.
Things weren’t exactly going the way she’d thought they would. Lorrie had always hoped to open her own beauty shop, but she still wasn’t back to work at Wellstone. It was hard to open a business when she hadn’t made any money except unemployment compensation. Scotty hadn’t been called back to work for Judge Sherman either, so he’d taken a lot of different jobs like taking inventory or answering the phone and filling orders at Reese’s T-shirt business.
“Ladies and gentlemen…” Reverend Dellinger intoned, in a solemn voice. “Please open your Christmas hymnbooks to page 17, and join in singing ‘Silent Night.’”
That wasn’t one of Lorrie’s favorite songs mostly because her dear brother had teased her about her misheard song lyrics for all thirty-seven years of her life. Jay, seated to Lorrie’s right in the pew, was dressed in a blue suit and a white shirt and tasteful Christmas tie decorated with embroidered presents on it. Reese sat next to him, clad in black slacks and a red sequined sweater that glimmered when she moved. Looking out the stained glass windows, Lorrie saw a light dusting of snow falling outside. Perfect, she thought, though things weren’t perfect…exactly. Everyone joined the reverend in singing “Silent Night,” but Jay started to sing the words she’d always thought people were singing for years—“run young virgin.”
Lorrie had an attack of the giggles. Everyone in the church suddenly became silent. Oh, great…she was a walking, talking sitcom. Wasn’t it bad enough that she’d gone into labor in Jay’s cab? She wished she could stop the laughing tornado, but her brother cracked her up—even when he was being a dork. Scotty looked at her and grinned widely, a twinkle in his blue eyes.
That did her in altogether. Carrying the baby carrier with Betsy in tow, Lorrie walked into the hallway, still laughing. “Your Uncle Jay is…” she laughed again. “so funny. I’m sorry, Betsy. I’m not being a very good role model, but it’s your uncle’s fault.”
Thanks in advance for your feedback.