Snippet Sunday 4/6–Jay’s dog again

We’re back to “More Than Just a Dog,” which Vi and I finished last night.
In this snippet, Jay is waiting to see what happens when Nan sees her ex-employee…
She’s staring at a red car in the parking lot, a Mini Cooper with a vanity plate that reads “Tabitha 1.” I remember Tabitha from the old “Bewitched” TV show, but I know that’s not the owner of that car.
“Well, this day is just getting better and better,” Nan says sarcastically. “Oh my God, Jay. What’s she doing here?”
“She” is Nan’s ex-employee who insulted her and got canned. She never told me what Tabitha said, but I’m guessing it wasn’t very nice. “She’s probably just here to pick up her last check or something. I would think she’d fly in on her broom, though.”
Nan starts to cry again, and I don’t know if it’s because of Bulldog or seeing Tabitha’s car or both. She hands me the fare, and an extra big tip.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen when I go in there, but I’m sure about the tip.”
Any comments would be appreciated.

24 thoughts on “Snippet Sunday 4/6–Jay’s dog again

    1. Thanks, Frank–it is hard to write in that tense. Sometimes if I’m working on a different book, I forget and start writing it the same way. Then I have to go back and make sure I changed it.

  1. Very good passage! Though the series was long before my time, it was still possible to see it syndicated in reruns.

    Present tense is something I’m a little wary of writing in, but it works here.

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