I is for Jay Galloway, and the real life Jay Galloway, my friend, Greg’s favorite quote:
“It’s all part of the conspiracy.”
There are so many things that are part of the conspiracy. Today alone I had a…land-line phone that didn’t work because my cat, Jay, pulled out the wire so I was trying to make a phone call and saying “Hello? Hello? My phone’s not working…I’ll call you back on my cell phone.” I charged the cell phone only to discover that my cat had knocked it over. The back cover fell off, and the battery fell out, so now I have to charge it again. At the grocery store, I got a rude cashier who didn’t want to double-bag my groceries that came in glass bottles. Also, my card wasn’t accepted and I had to pay with cash. There was an error message that read “Invalid transaction.” I asked the cashier what that meant and the wise guy said, “I was hoping you could tell me that!”
Here are a few more things that are all part of the conspiracy…DVDs that don’t work, watered-down hot chocolate at the day job, pantyhose and clothes that don’t fit even though I lost 115 lbs., traffic jams, the winter that will not end, rude librarians, trucks that hold up traffic trying to get out of a driveway, broken staplers, ATMs that don’t work, falling on the ice twice, child proof medicine bottles that won’t open, telephone tag, certain people who don’t look up the directions until you get lost–that’s right, Greg, that would be moi–guilty!
What about you? Has anything happened to you that I need to add?