Snippet Sunday 9/28–Payton is convincing

I finished this short story for my “Silver Dreidels” holiday collection–only one more story to go. Here’s the latest snippet–Payton is very convincing. This is really raw–just wrote some of it today. Any feedback is appreciated.
“So I’ve been thinking about this never taking a vacation thing,” Payton said. “You can’t spend the rest of your life reading about vacation spots in a book.”
She opened her mouth to object, but Payton reached out to touch her arm. “Maybe you could leave a little early one day and I’ll come and get you and we’ll go to the holiday festival in Rose View. That’s where I live, and it’s the off season for me. What do you say?”
She glanced over at Ivy, who was deep in conversation with Clint. “Well. I guess it couldn’t hurt to leave early.”
“Great. Does Friday work for you?”
“That sounds perfect.”

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Snippet Sunday 9/21/14/Holly needs a vacation

Here’s the next installment of “The Holly, the Ivy…& the Menorah”. One of my 3200 problems that have been plaguing me this year is over (knock on wood). 3199 to go.
This scene is pretty raw and I skipped a couple of paragraphs to get to it. Any feedback is much appreciated.
“Do you mind helping me in the kitchen?” Holly asked Payton. It was just like her little sister to garner all the male attention in the room.
“Not at all,” Payton said, with a smile that revealed his dimples once again.
Holly led him to her favorite room in the house. When she wasn’t working or reading, she liked to cook. She refilled a ceramic tray with potato pancakes, spooning applesauce and sour cream into ramekins. She put antique serving spoons into the ramekins and watched Payton, who was studying her display of vacation destination photos.
“These are something,” Payton said. “Have you been to all these places?”
“No,” Holly admitted. “I was in high school when we went on our last vacation. Then there was college and law school and work. Nowadays if I want to go somewhere, I just read about it in a book.”

Snippet Sunday 9/14/14

I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately–I haven’t done much writing because of the conspiracy that is my life right now. It’s hard to talk about, but I have this snippet for my WIP in my short story collection, “Silver Dreidels.” This is the beginning of Part II of “The Holly, the Ivy and the Menorah.”
“Welcome to our home, Payton,” Holly Blumenthal said, trying not to be taken in by the brown-haired, brown-eyed Cincinnati Red Wolves pitcher. She loved his dimples, too, but she knew better. There had been too many times she’d seen a man she liked only to have Ivy, “the pretty one,” in their family, take him away from her. The worst time had been when they were in high school.
She forgot about it. That had been years ago, and now Ivy was living in her house in Wyoming with her. If she had to battle using her looks, she’d lose. She preferred to settle her conflicts inside her comfort zone—a court of law.
“How do you guys like your new manager?” Jay Galloway, Holly and Ivy’s friend, who was a huge Cincinnati Red Wolves fan, asked.
Thanks for reading–any feedback is much appreciated! As for me, I’m just taking things a minute at a time.