Here’s the snippet from my new WIP, “Jay Galloway’s Day Off.” He just picked up his friend, Raven, at her parents’ house that she’s trying to sell. I skipped ahead a little. This is super raw. Any comments are appreciated.
She gazes wistfully at the old Craftsman-style home, but doesn’t say a word. I turn on the radio and The Animals are singing “House of the Rising Sun.” When I stop for a red light, I grab an empty plastic pop bottle to use as a microphone and start to sing along. I hope this will cheer Raven up, and get my mind off my incredibly shrinking bank account. Raven starts to sing, too, pretending the dashboard is a keyboard.
That song ends, replaced by “All I Have to do is Dream.”
“I love this song,” Raven says, as I head out Reading Road toward her apartment. “Remember when we were kids, and we sang a different version?”
“Yes.” I’d driven my mom crazy singing “All I Have to do is Scream.” “My mom didn’t like hearing me mangle that song because she went to an Everly Brothers concert and got to meet them.”
Raven looks like she’s going to cry over all the memories of our parents and living next door to each other, so I sing. When I get to get to the word “scream,” Raven screams and we both start laughing.