Snippet Sunday, 6/28, “Taming Toby”–he gets allergic smelling hay

This has been another crazy week. My mom is back from the hospital, but when I went to visit her, she was awfully quiet. I’m hoping it’s just the meds she’s been on because that isn’t like her. Once again, I thank everyone for their support. I’m continuing on from last week when Toby stopped to visit his dad and sister at the double wide.
The kitty has a new name, Smokey Joe. Any comments on the snippet would be appreciated. I’m also working on updates for “Mr. Short, Dark…& Funny” and “Mr. Tall, Tan…& Tasteless.” So watch for them—they will be “new and improved.” (I hope)
Zoe wrinkled her nose. “Jamie Morgan? Have you forgotten what happened when I went to a hayride with her brother?”
Toby hadn’t remembered that his sister had gone out with Jonah for a hayride sponsored by Beth Jacob Synagogue’s Youth Group. It was easy to lose his memory since he hadn’t set foot inside a synagogue for at least ten years.
When he didn’t say anything, Zoe spoke. “Jonah sneezed almost the whole night. He was allergic to hay.”
“Well, I’m not planning on taking Jamie on any hayrides.” Or anywhere else when she finds out I’m from the “wrong side of the tracks.”

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20 responses to “Snippet Sunday, 6/28, “Taming Toby”–he gets allergic smelling hay

  1. siobhanmuir

    Oh dear, that date didn’t go well. Hope he has better luck. Good snippet, Nancy. 🙂

  2. Just because he’s allergic doesn’t mean she is. It’s nice that the families sort of know each other, though.

  3. Nice snippet, Nancy. Nice little dialogue.

  4. Thanks for reading, Iris–I’m having fun with these characters.

  5. Yeah, I wouldn’t judge a girl by her brother–though allergies aren’t something to judge anyway! 🙂

  6. I liked the detail of the brother being allergic to hay, what a sad way to spend a hayride! Great snippet.

  7. I can sympathize. I’d probably sneeze my way through a hayride too. Tough to put the cool moves on your date while sneezing up a storm.

  8. I’m super fond of ‘wrong side of the tracks’ stories. I can’t wait to read more of this.

  9. Hmm, the tracks must point to an incredibly wide divide that he considers himself to be from the ‘wrong side’…. Still, I get this feeling that Jaime’s a lot more likely to dance those steps than Toby suspects.

  10. LOL, those allergies can be rough. Thanks for reading!

  11. chellecordero

    Hoping everything works out better with your mom.

    The hayride certainly made an impression on her. I’m a little confused by the connection of the hayride, memory and synagogue. Maybe that is clearer if you weren’t limited to such a small snippet. I’m interested to read more.

    • Thanks for the good words, Chelle. I’m meeting with my mom’s nurse, etc. next week.
      You’re right–the connection is explained in more detail later in the chapter, but I’m going to look at it again since I’ve been in re-write mood for the last two weeks (I’m doing updates to two of my e-books–maybe then I’ll actually get some sales? — LOL).

  12. So sorry for the really late response. Playing catch up on Sunday Snippets.

    Nice snippet. There’s definitely more going on to that connection. I like how you end it with the “wrong side of the tracks”, definitely builds onto the conflict and tension of the story setting.

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