SnippetSunday Garrett’s POV

More from “Geek in Disguise,” this time from Garrett’s POV. I’ve moved ahead—Van had a mishap with the dogs, who took her for a walk along the muddy creek bed in Garrett’s backyard. Garrett feels bad, so offers to wash and dry her clothes while she takes a shower. I might have gone over the 10-line limit. Any feedback is appreciated…

From the time Garrett Berkowitz pedaled his blue bicycle to his job at the Cincinnati Observatory, to the time he arrived home, he questioned his judgment at leaving the boys with Vanessa Brown. Especially when he found them dragging her along the muddy creek bed. Sure, she’d come highly recommended. He felt bad about leaving Neptune and Jupiter alone all day, and her dog-sitting and walking service seemed like the perfect solution.
Not to mention, she was very pretty. She had shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair and blue-green eyes that sparkled whenever she spoke.
Garrett pushed those thoughts away. She was his complete opposite. She’d teased him about being serious. It appeared that she never worried at all. As long as she never discovered one of his troubles, they’d be okay.
Come on, Garrett. You have to trust her. Don’t do this to yourself.
He couldn’t help but remember the last serious relationship he’d had. His girlfriend hadn’t understood that he was dyslexic. So they’d broken up, leaving Garrett with a broken heart and a lack of confidence in the opposite sex.

Advertisements

12 responses to “SnippetSunday Garrett’s POV

  1. This snippet does a great job of making me feel for him and like him even more. Looking forward to more!

  2. Seems like his last girlfriend was rather shallow.

  3. chellecordero

    Refreshing to have a not-so-perfect hero. Between his having to cope with his dyslexia and the previous shallow b**** he had dated, I’m sure his confidence was certainly shaken. Very intriguing.

  4. Love this: blue-green eyes that sparkled whenever she spoke … Great snippet, Nancy …

  5. I like it, I like him…kind of a lot of backstory here though. I don’t know if this is already published? In which case, ignore me! But if this is still in draft, I was wondering if maybe some of the relevant details could come out in other ways, dialog or action earlier in the story, when he’s with Van, or some interaction with a co-worker or…? Just to change the pace a bit maybe! Enjoying the story though and I sure do love the names of his dogs!

  6. Karen Michelle Nutt

    I think I’m going to like Garrett. Not so perfect heroes are the best.

  7. Wow breaking up because of dyslexia, that’s bitchy. I still is super smart and smart is attractive!

  8. Well they do say opposites attract, so… Take a chance, I say! But I can understand the confidence shaken from a rather shallow ex-girlfriend. Non-perfect main characters are always intriguing.

  9. Good bit of info-sharing here. It flows nicely and isn’t stilted the way info-sharing passages can be.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: