Snippet Sunday, 5/1, new story

I finally finished Garrett and Van’s story, which is now at the publisher. Meanwhile, I’ve had enough of getting sick, being in hospitals and therapy rehab places. So this is a snippet from the new series I’m starting that takes place in the fictional town of Dannville, Colorado. I had a dream about a historical, and have a few chapters written, but it’s “not quite ready for prime time.” This is the beginning of the contemporary called “Cinderella Wears Blue Jeans.” It’s very raw (I’ve been sick). It’s been edited to fit the line limit, but it might still be over. Any feedback would be appreciated.

I stare into the sky blue eyes of the paramedic who’s just rescued me. He’s just given me a lecture about my housekeeping skills (or lack thereof). All I want to do is get to Dannville Hospital—stat. I’d gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom and was walking back when I blacked out. When I came to, I was on the floor.
“Dude!” the female paramedic, who was driving the ambulance is on my side. “You need to lighten up or you’ll have a heart attack!”
Ol’ Blue Eye slaps a hand to his forehead. “Women! Did you see the condition of the house? It’s not fit for her cat to live in!”
I can’t see the woman’s expression because I’m lying on a stretcher but I can sense she’s rolling her eyes. The man ignores her and starts asking about medications I’ve been taking.
When we get to the hospital, he hands me his card. “When you get out of here, call me. I’ll come over and help you with the house.”

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28 responses to “Snippet Sunday, 5/1, new story

  1. I like it! lol. What a way to meet. OMG, Embarrassment on top of everything else.

  2. Okay, I want the name of this EMT because I could really use some help around the house too!

  3. Wow, I really wonder how bad her house can be for him to have such an extreme reaction.

  4. Could you send him my way, please??? Actually, this is one of my fears…that emergency personnel would critique my housekeeping skills, or lack thereof. Too funny!

    • Thanks for reading, Karysa–I have the same fear (and I probably wouldn’t get the blue-eyed, handsome EMT either). I’ll send him over when he’s finished cleaning my windows–LOL. Thanks for reading!

  5. Interesting snippet … and congratulations on Garrett and Van’s story.

  6. I do enjoy conversational-style first person POV like this…fun little snippet.

  7. Ol’ Blue Eye sounds sweet!

  8. Well, this certainly sets them up for a volatile relationship! Great snippet.

  9. I take it she’ll give him a call… eventually. 🙂 Enjoyed the snippet and intro to the characters.

  10. Great snippet! Sounds like a great this is how we met story for their grandchildren to hear.

  11. If you’re scheduling visits from the EMT…

  12. Promising beginning – I like it! Glad things are going better for you and welcome back 🙂

  13. Oh, this is one great guy.

  14. Oh gosh, getting hassled about housekeeping when I’m in a vulnerable state by a stranger would really stress me out – but an offer of help is pretty good!

  15. It would upset me, too, Rachel. But I’m glad he offered to help. Thanks for reading!

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