Snippet Sunday 5/8–Max’s POV

Here’s another snippet from my WIP, “Cinderella Wears Blue Jeans.” It’s very raw, so any feedback will be appreciated. This is six months later, and is from Max’s POV.

“Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” Eve Preston gives me one of her killer grins.
“Can it, Preston, and see what you can do about getting me the hell out of here.”
Eve feigns a southern accent even though Colorado isn’t in the deep south. “Why, sir, how could a simple small-town girl like me be conversant on the subject of making connections. You’re the one who knows everything.”
“Leave it to you to use the word ‘conversant’ and call me a Mr.-Know-It-All in the same sentence.” Yesterday, I was a hot shot paramedic saving lives. More than three hundred people in Dannville depend on me. I think of the woman who’d fallen in her house and never bothered to call me and ask for help. She probably needed me, too, but had been too proud, or too embarrassed about her crappy cleaning skills, to call. Then I’d fallen on the ice in a stupid skiing accident so I couldn’t lend a hand anyway. “I want to get out of here and go home.”
“All in due time, Hot Shot.”

Advertisements

22 responses to “Snippet Sunday 5/8–Max’s POV

  1. Interesting dynamic between these two characters…

  2. So he never went back and did the cleaning? No!!! But he hasn’t forgotten her. Nice, well-paced dialogue. Great snippet.

  3. Maybe telling her that her cleaning skills were terrible wasn’t the best way to get a date and if he really wanted, he could have found her.

  4. What Linda said. I wouldn’t have called him either!

  5. Preston believes in kicking a man while he’s down, eh? Hopefully it’s done in a playful spirit. Also, you need a question mark at the end of ‘the subject of making connections’.

  6. Enjoyed the scene, quite the turnabout for him.

  7. Thanks for reading–glad you enjoyed it.

  8. Well at least he’s still thinking of her? But he probably should have called a little sooner…

  9. Hey, he was supposed to do some cleaning! I think he owes her more than a tardy phone call, but better late than never…LOL!

  10. I like the interplay between the two. 🙂

  11. Thanks for reading, Elizabeth. He definitely does.

  12. Fun snippet! I love the dialogue and their antagonistic banter.

  13. Thanks for reading–I’ve been binge watching “Gilmore Girls” so I think the banter slipped in–LOL!

  14. Well somebody is a bit full of themselves! Shall Eve knock the ego down one or two notches?

  15. Definintely two–she’s very good at it. Thanks for reading!

  16. interesting snippet this week, Nancy.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: