Snippet Sunday5/15/16-Cinderalla arrives

Continuing with my WIP, “Cinderella Wears Blue Jeans.” Cinderella has arrived at Max’s house and is in for a surprise. This is really raw and has been edited. I’m also working on my historical set in this same town, so it might be ready for prime time soon. Or not. Any feedback is appreciated.

I arrive at my destination—a Rocky Mountain retreat. The man who’d called my cleaning service, Cinderella’s Housekeeping, hadn’t exaggerated when he’d said his A-frame house was in a deserted area.
After arthritis, stomach ailments and a high heart rate, I’m slowly making my way back. Even after six months, I still thought about the paramedic who’d gotten on my case about the condition of my house when they’d found me. He’d offered to help, but my pride kept me from calling him.
I knock on the door of the modern-looking house. I hear moaning and a muffled curse. A walker or a cane clumps against what sounds like hardwood floors. Then the door opens and so does my mouth.
No. The man glaring at me as he grabbed onto his walker was the neat freak paramedic who’d rescued me six months ago.
“You? You work for a cleaning service?”
“I own the cleaning service. I’m Galeigh Frankel.”
“You run a company that cleans houses?” He runs his hand along the side of the stubble visible on his handsome face. “This is never going to work.”

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30 responses to “Snippet Sunday5/15/16-Cinderalla arrives

  1. Well, isn’t he a Negative Nellie — or Ned, as the case may be. (I’m really hoping she snarks back at him with something like, “I can’t believe that the man who commented on my house needs a cleaning service.”)

  2. lol! Love it! Their banter is perfect–humorous and just what I’d expect. And I love Paula’s comment. Yes, indeed. 🙂

  3. chellecordero

    What an unexpected swap of circumstances! Very engaging.

  4. LOL …. nice surprise.

  5. He has changed, although not his attitude.

  6. Well, well. I’m expecting a visit from karma here. Great snippet!

  7. Gem

    Karma bites! Great snippet.

  8. I want to READ this! Loved the snippet and how now he needs help…great stuff.

  9. elainecsc2013

    What a fun situation. Loved its

  10. hahahahahaha, this is too funny! I can totally imagine how she is too tired of cleaning to take care out of her own house!

  11. Great snippet. Love the snarky banter.

  12. ROTFL! Oh, this is too perfect!

  13. Don’t you love it when, right after they met, the hero and heroine start talking dirty?

    Sorry for taking so long to get around to the snippets this week. Mea culpa.

  14. Loving the back and forth banter. Wonderful snippet.

  15. (I’m sorry if this posts twice, I can’t tell if my comment went through. Unless you have it on moderation.)

    Oh what an ironic twist! Karma can be a real bitch. I hope she gives him some smart retort back and proves him wrong that it will work.

  16. Thanks for reading! Tune in next week (couldn’t get things together for this week).

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