Snippet Sunday 10/30-Honey

This is a snippet from my new book, “Honeysuckle for Honey,” which takes place in 1896 and Dannville, Colorado. This takes up where last week’s snippet ended when the heroine, Honey, runs into the hero, saloon owner Wes Galloway. This is from Wes’s POV. I think I’m a little over the sentence limit, but this seemed like a good place to stop. Any comments are appreciated.

I help her pick up the white wicker picnic basket and supplies she’d obviously bought at the store. “I think I’m all right,” she says. “I didn’t see you, that’s all.”
“So you’re making a picnic basket for the auction?” Every year, Dannville has a basket auction where the ladies prepare picnic lunches and the men bid on them and spend the day with the lady whose basket they buy.
“That’s all everyone in town is talking about so I suppose I am.”
“I haven’t seen you around here.”
“I just moved here from Ohio and I’m working for Dr. Huntsberger. I’m a doctor, too, and he hired me to help with his patients, but he likes to do everything himself.”
“Well, I guess I won’t be one of your patients.”
“Why not? Don’t you think a woman can be a doctor?”
“It’s not that. It’s just that I never get sick.”
“Well, that’s good. Dr. Huntsberger thinks he knows everything. He probably wouldn’t mind if I delivered babies because that’s womans’ work. I don’t know how much real doctoring I’ll get to do. Oh, I’m sorry. First I run into you and now I’m probably boring you with my complaints.”
“You’re not boring me at all, honey.”
She takes a step back. “How did you know my name?”
“What’s that?”
“My name’s Honey Cartwright. How did you know my name was Honey?”
I can’t resist smiling at her. “I didn’t. I call all the ladies honey. And I’m Wes. Wes Galloway.”

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52 responses to “Snippet Sunday 10/30-Honey

  1. Ouchie on that last bit about the paramedic being happily married. I feel sorry for her. Great snippet, Nancy!

  2. Her parents are trying to be nice, but they’re out of touch with her reality.

  3. Thanks so much for reading. They are definitely out of touch with her reality–they mean well, but they want a different life for her.

  4. Karen Michelle Nutt

    They really don’t know her, do they? Can’t help but feel sorry for her.

  5. I feel sad for her and for the parents, so out of touch. Excellent excerpt…

  6. I love the imaginary list of excuses, and the line “wait to hear all the ways I’ve disappointed her in my thirty-four years on this earth.”

  7. Aw man, that’s awkward. Great dialogue. Love the part about waiting to hear all the ways she disappointed them…

  8. The awkward dialogue suits a family that doesn’t communicate. Her excuse is beyond weak, and they haven’t exactly kept up with her life.

  9. elainecsc2013

    I love the sound of this.

  10. Ouch re Max … but I loved the hint of sarcasm in it. Great snippet.

  11. This grabbed me from the start. I can empathize with both of them. I hope she goes home and things change.

  12. Love the imaginary excuses line! I’m going to plead the fifth on how many times I may have done that myself. LOL. Poor girl, sounds like her parents don’t know the first thing about her. I can relate to that in a way. I wonder why they suddenly want her to come if they haven’t even realized she broke up with someone three years ago. Sounds like they haven’t talked in years.

  13. chellecordero

    It’s sad that the dad was either not aware or simply never heard that she and the paramedic were off – at the same time it is sad that she is presuming she has a lecture coming on being a disappointment (I don’t know how truthful this has been in the past?) when er parents really just want to have her with them for a bit. Seems like they have to work on 2 way communication.

  14. The line about tuna made me laugh. I was almost sorry she clued her parents in so soon. πŸ™‚

  15. I enjoyed the joke about her kitten! Her parents will be horrified!

  16. Yeah, I would’ve stringed them along a bit further! Ha ha Great snippet.

  17. LOL! Fun snippet. I love her sense of humor.

  18. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Funny Snippet. πŸ™‚

  19. Very nice. I think Mama won’t see the joke here.

  20. So the cat, is supposedly, Jewish? Interesting. I would’ve thought cats would believe in ancient Egyptian faiths in which they are gods.

  21. siobhanmuir

    LOL cute snippet, Nancy. πŸ™‚

  22. Oh my god! How can her mum not have guess that, seriously. It’s like she didn’t even listen.

  23. LOL … liked it …. nicely done.

  24. Such a great family scene here! Very believable!

  25. LOL! I love this girl and her sense of humor and sarcasm. It’s so great. Love the line about her mother’s shriek.

  26. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Had to chuckle about her name and how she was taken aback that he knew it–even though he really didn’t.

  27. Thanks for reading–I had fun writing that scene. Now I’m writing one about Wes and his pets.

  28. Now there’s a name you don’t hear very often, Honey. I wonder if she should have been used to people using that term more loosely though. Enough of people do it.

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