Snippet Sunday 10/23-New book

I finished my short story and sent it off to (hopefully) be accepted for publication in a holiday anthology. Otherwise,I’ll self-pub it. This week, I’m submitting a snippet from my new book, a historical set in the same town as the contemporary in 1896. It’s called “Honeysuckle for Honey,” and this first part of Chapter One is written from the hero, Wes’s, POV. As a side note, I had a dream about this setting set in 1896, and my friends and I were the characters.
Any feedback would be appreciated.

“I own a profitable saloon in the town of Dannville, Colorado. I have mo children and have never been married. I have my own home, and all of my teeth, although the front ones are a little crooked. People tell me I have a good sense of humor…”
I’m so intent on reading the ad I plan on placing for a mail order bride that I don’t see a young woman with hair the color of wheat leaving Samson’s General Store–until she collides with me. Tendrils of blonde hair come loose from her topknot as she glares at me with blue eyes full of beauty and anger.
“Sir, you should watch where you’re going!”
“You weren’t looking where you were going either, y’know? Are you all right?”

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45 responses to “Snippet Sunday 10/23-New book

  1. Enjoyed the excerpt – the conversation feels so very true to life. Love the way he got his name!

  2. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Love how he got his name. Very romantic. 🙂

  3. I could feel her relief when she found something she could actually talk about.

  4. Lovely dialogue … I likehow he got his name, too

  5. Lovely story of his parents’ meeting.

  6. Very realistic dialogue. The anecdotes were a wonderful touch.

  7. I’m wondering why things always seem to go wrong for her at this time of year?

  8. chellecordero

    What a romantic explanation for his name.
    It’s a shame she feels she “struck out” but I have a feeling she gets some respect from him for her profession, he seems nice.

  9. Karen Michelle Nutt

    It’s nice that he doesn’t have any family issues or so he believes. Can’t be all perfect. Nobody’s family is. 🙂 Great descriptions and inner thoughts.

  10. That’s for sure! Thanks for reading!

  11. Love his thoughts.

    (Am confused though because I’m seeing comments from last week’s snippet?)

  12. I’m wondering if his family has secrets he doesn’t know about yet. And the comments from last week confused me too.

  13. I wondered why he would be leaving when he thinks his family is important.

  14. I find myself wondering how the two paragraphs are related: the pretty bff and the serene family life.

  15. He’s attracted to her so rational thought is out the window. Thanks for reading!

  16. Love the thoughts and the line about being lucky.

  17. Another feisty gal! I get the feeling he’s going to wish he had apologized first. Interesting concept of mail order bride too, I wonder if he’s just that desperate.

  18. Thanks for reading–poor Wes–he was getting pretty desperate (lonely).

  19. That’s a funny way to meet someone, he is looking for a bride and she seems to just bump into him.

  20. Haha! I like that mail order bride description. And the blonde’s reaction, blaming him for running into her was priceless! Nicely done. 🙂

  21. I guess he’s collided with his future bride!

  22. Great personal ad — and great description of the woman. This is sounding like a fun read.

  23. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Intrigued to know where their bumping into each other will go. 🙂

  24. His ad is so amusing, but this meeting makes me think he may not need it.

  25. Yikes! I think I might’ve died from embarrassment in Wes’ place (but hey, I apologise to people when they clearly bump into me…)

    One thing, is it meant to be “no children”?

  26. Loved this and love how he got is name.

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