Snippet Sunday 12/25-

Happy holidays! This is another snippet from “Honeysuckle for Honey” and is told from her POV. This takes place at the basket auction. It’s really raw and has been re-written and edited — any feedback is appreciated!

After several more baskets are auctioned off, Colonel Bridgeman, Dannville’s mayor, picks up mine. I’ve prepared fried chicken, vegetables, a corn casserole and chocolate cake. I haven’t prepared anything fancy, but it’s plain cooking and I had help (and a stove) from Wes’s mother. .
Colonel Bridgeman starts the bidding at five dollars.
“Five dollars!” Dr. Huntsberger says. If he wins, he’ll probably tell me how good a cook I am, and that I should find a husband and knit and cook and have babies.
“Ten dollars!” Wes Galloway counters. I don’t want to be attracted to his charming manner, and that crooked smile, but I am. He’s very handsome with his brown hair the color of coffee, mustache and muttom chops and twinkling blue-gray eyes.
“Ten dollars going once, ten dollars going twice, sold to Wes Galloway for ten dollars!” Colonel Bridgeman announces.
I follow Wes to the table, and Colonel Bridgeman hands him the basket. “Congratulations, son! Enjoy lunch with this lovely lady.”
“I’m sure I will,” Wes says. I walk alongside him and notice that he’s heading away from the center of town.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“You’ll see.”


24 thoughts on “Snippet Sunday 12/25-

  1. I might (when editing/revising) think about how to introduce the first bit – which is highly descriptive – in a context rather than an information dump. For example, the narrator having a conversation with Linnie or possibly someone else about her.

  2. Her name is a bit confused. Maybe it should be Caroline, nicknamed Linnie Keller. The sentences for years and she’s my friend should be two complete sentences, not combined into one. I hope they bid on the basket!

  3. Looks like a few people, suggested what I would about that first sentence, so I won’t do it again. I like the dialogue exchange. It flows easily enough, though a dialogue tag will let us know exactly who spoke first. Great start. 🙂

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