Snippet Sunday 12/25-

Happy holidays! This is another snippet from “Honeysuckle for Honey” and is told from her POV. This takes place at the basket auction. It’s really raw and has been re-written and edited — any feedback is appreciated!

Honey
After several more baskets are auctioned off, Colonel Bridgeman, Dannville’s mayor, picks up mine. I’ve prepared fried chicken, vegetables, a corn casserole and chocolate cake. I haven’t prepared anything fancy, but it’s plain cooking and I had help (and a stove) from Wes’s mother. .
Colonel Bridgeman starts the bidding at five dollars.
“Five dollars!” Dr. Huntsberger says. If he wins, he’ll probably tell me how good a cook I am, and that I should find a husband and knit and cook and have babies.
“Ten dollars!” Wes Galloway counters. I don’t want to be attracted to his charming manner, and that crooked smile, but I am. He’s very handsome with his brown hair the color of coffee, mustache and muttom chops and twinkling blue-gray eyes.
“Ten dollars going once, ten dollars going twice, sold to Wes Galloway for ten dollars!” Colonel Bridgeman announces.
I follow Wes to the table, and Colonel Bridgeman hands him the basket. “Congratulations, son! Enjoy lunch with this lovely lady.”
“I’m sure I will,” Wes says. I walk alongside him and notice that he’s heading away from the center of town.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“You’ll see.”

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24 responses to “Snippet Sunday 12/25-

  1. Karen Michelle Nutt

    She might be prickly now, but I bet he’ll wear her down. 🙂

  2. A prim and proper lady! She may need to insist on respect to work as a doctor.

  3. I like his easy-going manner. Seems quite at odds with her uptightness.

  4. Thanks for reading–yeah, they’ve got some fun times ahead.

  5. He really does see easy going. It’ll be interesting to see why she’s so snippy.

  6. “Now what in Hades…” I love that line!

  7. I might (when editing/revising) think about how to introduce the first bit – which is highly descriptive – in a context rather than an information dump. For example, the narrator having a conversation with Linnie or possibly someone else about her.

  8. Gretchen Forde

    Her name is a bit confused. Maybe it should be Caroline, nicknamed Linnie Keller. The sentences for years and she’s my friend should be two complete sentences, not combined into one. I hope they bid on the basket!

  9. Hmm… A bit of matchmaking in the offing?

  10. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Intrigued to know more. Will they bid on the basket. 🙂

  11. chellecordero

    I;m interested in knowing his motivation for bidding on the basket. Good snippet.

  12. Looks like a few people, suggested what I would about that first sentence, so I won’t do it again. I like the dialogue exchange. It flows easily enough, though a dialogue tag will let us know exactly who spoke first. Great start. 🙂

  13. Thanks for reading–I think he likes her.

  14. elainecsc2013

    This was an intriguing excerpt.

  15. I wonder what the basket is going to contain. Gotta know that first before bidding on it.

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