Snippet Sunday, 3/19-“I called somebody”

Continuing on with a snippet from my WIP, “Yankee Doodle Darling” (Changed the title and I’m still not sure about this one). I’m continuing on from last week when Oren confronted Cilla about not getting in touch with him for ten years. Any feedback is much appreciated–this is really raw. I wrote it when I wasn’t feeling too well.

Cilla takes another bite of her Danish, and a gulp of coffee. The guy who helped me with her when she fell answers his cell phone when it rings. Then he says “Uh, Cilla. I’ve gotta go.”
She smiles at him and and takes another swig of coffee. “Sure. Go.”
“Good luck on the new job. Call me if you need me.” He saunters out of the diner, and Cilla glares at me.
“I called somebody. I’m sure you didn’t give me the wrong number. I didn’t send e-mails because I didn’t have your e-mail address.”
At her smart-aleck comment, I see red. “Cilla, we were so much in love. Why didn’t you keep trying?”
“I did,” she insists. “I left messages with your mom and stepfather. Then I wrote letters to you here at your brother’s house. You didn’t answer. Look, I have to go to work or I’ll be late.” She takes a pen out of her small leather purse and scribbles her phone number on a napkin. “Call me.”

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25 responses to “Snippet Sunday, 3/19-“I called somebody”

  1. I wonder what happened to all of her attempts to contact him … and i’m pleased to see she’s still happy for him to call. Nice snippet.

  2. Well it’s a start, or rather a firm continuation of a prior connection. Interesting dynamics between them.

  3. Karen Michelle Nutt

    I’m curious why her attempts to reach him were intercepted.

  4. Thanks for reading, Karen–you’ll find out soon (I hope).

  5. Yes, is he not speaking to his family?

  6. Quite the history between them apparently and oh-so-puzzling why all her attempts to contact him went astray (but I enjoy the mystery because it deepens the plot). Terrific snippet!

  7. siobhanmuir

    Sounds like there’s a conspiracy to keep them apart. Good snippet, Nancy. 🙂

  8. Thanks for reading, Siobhan–as my friend, Greg, says “It’s all part of the conspiracy.”

  9. Andrea R Huelsenbeck

    I wonder why he didn’t contact her.

  10. If nothing else, I’d say his mom and stepfather don’t want them to be together.

  11. Sounds to me that someone’s been meddling.

  12. So they have a history, but why couldn’t she reach him? Parents maybe?

  13. Interesting dynamics in this. On the one hand, she seems a little angry at him, and on the other she wants him to call her.

  14. I wasn’t expecting that answer! I wonder why no one told him she was trying to get in touch with him. And I’m also a bit shocked she was still willing to give him her number. I think she’s angry and a bit bitter, but I think she also still really loves him.

  15. Sounds like someone is standing in their way. 😦 Great snippet

  16. Thanks for reading, Jennifer–yep someone is up to something.

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