Snippet Sunday 4/2-Cilla’s dad’s POV

Still in Chapter Two but I’ve skipped some because I just wrote this and more (starting Ch 3) and would appreciate any feedback. It’s raw and has been edited to fit the line limit. It’s in Cilla’s dad’s POV and I hope it answers some questions…
“Good evening, Gregory.”
I knew Oren’s mom would call me. I take a beer from the fridge before confronting the Dragon Lady. Her cold tone indicates that she’s willing to take on anyone from Cinderella’s stepmother to Cruella DeVille to yours truly, Gregory M. Rayfield, king of loser dads and grandpas. Ten years ago, I’d made a deal with the devil, Lilah Matthews. I’d promised to help her keep Oren and Cilla apart in exchange for money for my daughter and granddaughter, as well as cash for the unpaid medical bills left after my wife passed away.
Except that Gregory M. Rayfield isn’t going to kowtow to Lilah Matthews anymore. This 4th of July, I plan to assert my independence. “Hello, Lilah.”
“Your daughter is back in Dannville, and she’s contacted my son. She’s the one who broke up my family, and I’ll be damned if I let her do that again.”

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21 responses to “Snippet Sunday 4/2-Cilla’s dad’s POV

  1. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Love how you gave us the backstory. And yes, it does explain why letters and such were never received. Now, will Gregory stay strong this time like he claims he will?

  2. Interesting. I wonder how she’s responsible for that — at least in the mother’s eyes. And does either one care how much hurt they’ve caused?

  3. Oh wow … interesting little twist. liking the story so far.

  4. Thanks for reading, Iris–glad you liked it!

  5. She is really straight to the point. Interesting how we go from his thoughts to her going exactly to where he thought she would go. I like how he thinks she is the devil, maybe he’ll need a sword to slayer her.

  6. I can’t wait to see how Gregory replies. Great scene. 🙂 🙂

  7. I’m with everyone else – interesting backstory. I’m wondering if his new found resolve will hold up because this lady sounds tough. Great snippet!

  8. Explains a lot, but can he help at this stage?

  9. Super backstory, and it explains a lot.

  10. This passage doesn’t feel like fairly raw text. You fit a lot of information into just a few sentences.

  11. Oooooh! Noooo! I didn’t see that coming! Okay, well I could see the mother being involved in keeping them apart, but I didn’t see the Cilla’s father being involved in this now too. The last sentence kind of confused me on who’s parent is who though.

    Love the Disney references!

  12. Gem

    I’m seeing two selfish adults who interfered with their children’s lives. I hope they don’t repeat history.

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